Wednesday, April 29, 2009

1 gone 1 left

Out of my two bff(best friends forever), one has stopped talking to me because I could not go to her bf's(boyfriend's) birthday party(see last post). Surprisingly, I do not miss talking to her at all. In fact, I now realize what a waste the friendship was(oh, I don't want to call it 'friendship', from here on I shall call it.....ummmm......yes.....'deep shit'). I used to tell her everything just so that she feels that I need her. I asked for her opinions and even tried that at least, it looks like I have taken them seriously. I gave her all the credit of fixing me up with my bf but I was the last person in the world to know that she has been going around with someone. I was obviously hurt. But I never said anything. Rather tried to ignore it for the sake of 'deep shit'. There's a lot more that I have done for that 'deep shit'. I never put my ego above it. But it had to be done someday.
Its not that I hate her. I would never wish any ill for her. Only that I would stop wishing for her at all from now.
Its easy for me to forget the 'deep shit', easier to forget her. But it's going to be a great task trying to forget how foolish I had been to have been enslaved in such a 'deep shit'.
I'm just glad I'm out of it now but I don't know if it's going to be permanent. What if she needs me someday? What if one day she comes over to me and talks to me like nothing ever happened? What if I fall into it again and get hurt again?

I always try so hard not to be foolish. Every time I realize that I have been foolish, I promise myself that I won't let it happen again. Then why does it keep happening over and over again??? I'm sick of it now.

Thursday, April 16, 2009


I'm sorry guys for being out of touch for so long. It's just that I have been sleeping a lot these days. Exams make me feel sleepy all the time, you know :D

And also, one of my friends got married! I don't believe this. I mean it's the first time I saw someone so close getting married. And guess what.......I was asked to take the engagement ring to the bride(my friend, that is). I have never ever felt so important. She was so eager to get married that I wish that she doesn't forget me now :|

But not all days were awesome. I had to go through a lot of testing times. My best she-friend invited me and my boyfriend to her boyfriend's ( who also happens to be my classmate) birthday. But the venue was too far from my place, plus it was a working day. Not having completed my practical files and the exams being too close, my boyfriend and I had to go to college in any case. So, we told them that it won't be possible for us to make it to the party.
So, she came up to me and said " I know why you refuse to come. I know it's because you believe in tit for tat". Ouch! That was the second time she hurt me since March, this year.
The first time was when she didn't make it to my Birthday party :(

And, sorry for that brain's frozen......uh.