Wednesday, April 29, 2009

1 gone 1 left

Out of my two bff(best friends forever), one has stopped talking to me because I could not go to her bf's(boyfriend's) birthday party(see last post). Surprisingly, I do not miss talking to her at all. In fact, I now realize what a waste the friendship was(oh, I don't want to call it 'friendship' anymore....so, from here on I shall call it.....ummmm......yes.....'deep shit'). I used to tell her everything just so that she feels that I need her. I asked for her opinions and even tried that at least, it looks like I have taken them seriously. I gave her all the credit of fixing me up with my bf but I was the last person in the world to know that she has been going around with someone. I was obviously hurt. But I never said anything. Rather tried to ignore it for the sake of 'deep shit'. There's a lot more that I have done for that 'deep shit'. I never put my ego above it. But it had to be done someday.
Its not that I hate her. I would never wish any ill for her. Only that I would stop wishing for her at all from now.
Its easy for me to forget the 'deep shit', easier to forget her. But it's going to be a great task trying to forget how foolish I had been to have been enslaved in such a 'deep shit'.
I'm just glad I'm out of it now but I don't know if it's going to be permanent. What if she needs me someday? What if one day she comes over to me and talks to me like nothing ever happened? What if I fall into it again and get hurt again?

I always try so hard not to be foolish. Every time I realize that I have been foolish, I promise myself that I won't let it happen again. Then why does it keep happening over and over again??? I'm sick of it now.

5 comments:

  1. That's really brave of you..! It takes more courage to ditch your so called friend than hitting an enemy..Well Done..

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  2. It happens ... it has happened a lot to me, i.e. trusting and having faith in the wrong person. it really hurts, but the best thing is to just let go and not to give that person any importance at all ... as if that person didn't even exist.

    one more thing ... you're not foolish, you're, probably, just too sensitive and a really nice person :). Take care!

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  3. they say ice cream works wonders in such situations.

    you either eat a tub

    or you throw it on them.

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  4. Celestial Devil, Thanks for calling me brave but I don't think so because whatever I did was in self defense. It is hard to ditch your so supposed best friend though. You are absolutely right.

    Saif, if it can happen to a person who is as emotionally wise as you are, it must actually happen to a lot of people in the world. Thanks. I feel soooooooooo relaxed now :)

    Deluded, I would not like to waste a molecule of an ice cream on them. I would rather eat up the whole tub you are going to send to cheer me up(yay!).....er......btw, you are going to, right?
    Thanks for the yummiest comment ;) :D

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  5. Hey thats ok.. Consider this to be a learning experience..
    You have a nice blog..

    Work from home

    ReplyDelete

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