Tell me what's real

Yesterday I had this conversation with a friend


I: I don't understand the concept of arranged marriages. I mean, you don't get to 'know' people in just a couple of meetings. Its my third year in college and people, even the ones I call friends, are so unpredictable!

She: I know, seriously.

I: And....and you know, it hurts to see someone you think you know do something you could never imagine the person doing.


She: Of course, it does hurt. Everyone gets hurt at some point or the other in life. And its never the last time. I have seen so many kinds of people in this college that I had never seen before and I have learnt a lot of things about life in general

I: My life has changed a lot too. In fact I have changed a lot


She: In what way?

I: I have learnt to compromise with my sub conscience. I have learnt to convince it whenever I have no alternatives. I have pulled myself out of the fanciful idea that everyone has a heart and everyone listens to it.....that even those who do bad things are good inside.

I could feel something crumbling within me

I used to think everybody who makes a mistake thinks about it while he's alone and realizes it and regrets it.... But thankfully, I've understood the fact about the 'real' world...
I am less foolish now, more practical.


She: Good that you have realized 'cause that is actually the truth. People do not always realize and they rarely regret and apologizing has become out of question.


I didn't expect her to say that. I wished she said that what I now think is wrong and that people do regret hurting people. What was crumbling had completely broken down.

I lied to her. It takes time for everything to happen. It will take time for my thoughts to change. People hurt me and didn't apologize. But I forgave them, because I believed that they do regret but don't tell me satisfy their ego. I still do.
Even if Rachna says sorry, I wouldn't be able to keep myself from melting down. I would hug her and say "I missed you" ( I hope she never does or she would get a chance to hurt me once again)